Quest ions ?

Set I


1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?


-Pee Wee Herman (Paul Reubens)


2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?


-For my pussy pleasuring cock.


3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?


Only if I'm not into what I'm doing and have to fake it.


4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?


Fuck perfect, a great day involves free money, food, blow jobs, and back rubs.


5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?


Couple days ago, why?


6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?


What person wouldn't say body, stupid question.


7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?


Car accident, cancer, or heart attack. Just a guess.


8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.


Lust, perversion, and understanding.


9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?


Continuance


10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?


I'd make my parents rich, money is the root of any problem.


11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.


Fuck you, I don't do demands especially belittling my details to four minutes,


12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?


Either wolverines cellular regeneration and agelessness or telekinesis so I could make myself and other things around me fly.


Set II


13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?


Everything, because I'm a narcissist that laves to hear about himself from anything including the viewpoint of a transparent rock.


14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?


Maybe, because I'm patient. Timing is everything.


15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?


Nothing I can hang my hat on yet.


16. What do you value most in a friendship?


Exclusivity.


17. What is your most treasured memory?


I like them all.


18. What is your most terrible memory?


See above.







Continue reading the main story












19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?


Yes, because I can. I haven't peaked yet. I'd sell everything and go to Europe then come and do my goodbye tour across the U.S. and then have my body mummified.


20. What does friendship mean to you?


A connection you admit to having with another person. It's more of an action than a noun, so don't treat it like one.


21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?


Great stimulation, but also a major time suck.


22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.


What the fuck does that mean? Is that another demand? Fuck off!


23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?


It's fine, it was fine.


24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?


Alright. I think she needs to learn how to relax and not mother everyone, but that's her call.


Set III


25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “


We do no like to be told to do things, let's get back to questions.


26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “


not a question


27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.


not a question


28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.


not a question


29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.


not a question


30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?


Right now because of how stupid the writer of this shit is.


31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.


not a question


32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?


Nothing, but I probably won't laugh, especially if you tell jokes as bad as you write questions.


33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?


No secrets here, so absolutely nothing.


34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?


Probably my computers starting with my archaic, irreplaceable ones first.


35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?


Not sure, I'd miss them all greatly in their own individual ways. I probably will being I'm the youngest.


36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.


not a question






Oh good, that's all? I feel like I hate the author of these questions more than anything. Certainly not love.