Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Quest ions ?



Set I


1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?


-Pee Wee Herman (Paul Reubens)


2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?


-For my pussy pleasuring cock.


3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?


Only if I'm not into what I'm doing and have to fake it.


4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?


Fuck perfect, a great day involves free money, food, blow jobs, and back rubs.


5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?


Couple days ago, why?


6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?


What person wouldn't say body, stupid question.


7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?


Car accident, cancer, or heart attack. Just a guess.


8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.


Lust, perversion, and understanding.


9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?


Continuance


10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?


I'd make my parents rich, money is the root of any problem.


11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.


Fuck you, I don't do demands especially belittling my details to four minutes,


12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?


Either wolverines cellular regeneration and agelessness or telekinesis so I could make myself and other things around me fly.


Set II


13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?


Everything, because I'm a narcissist that laves to hear about himself from anything including the viewpoint of a transparent rock.


14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?


Maybe, because I'm patient. Timing is everything.


15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?


Nothing I can hang my hat on yet.


16. What do you value most in a friendship?


Exclusivity.


17. What is your most treasured memory?


I like them all.


18. What is your most terrible memory?


See above.







Continue reading the main story












19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?


Yes, because I can. I haven't peaked yet. I'd sell everything and go to Europe then come and do my goodbye tour across the U.S. and then have my body mummified.


20. What does friendship mean to you?


A connection you admit to having with another person. It's more of an action than a noun, so don't treat it like one.


21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?


Great stimulation, but also a major time suck.


22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.


What the fuck does that mean? Is that another demand? Fuck off!


23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?


It's fine, it was fine.


24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?


Alright. I think she needs to learn how to relax and not mother everyone, but that's her call.


Set III


25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “


We do no like to be told to do things, let's get back to questions.


26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “


not a question


27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.


not a question


28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.


not a question


29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.


not a question


30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?


Right now because of how stupid the writer of this shit is.


31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.


not a question


32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?


Nothing, but I probably won't laugh, especially if you tell jokes as bad as you write questions.


33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?


No secrets here, so absolutely nothing.


34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?


Probably my computers starting with my archaic, irreplaceable ones first.


35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?


Not sure, I'd miss them all greatly in their own individual ways. I probably will being I'm the youngest.


36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.


not a question






Oh good, that's all? I feel like I hate the author of these questions more than anything. Certainly not love.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

This Audio Adventure

So it's been 3 years almost since I rocketed my ass down to Austin on 10/10/2010.
It's been rough going here and there, but I'm very pleased with my history here and decision making.
From working odd jobs and meeting new people on whims to daily grinds at a couple of different grocery stores.
The most notable things to me are my interest in electronics and acquisition of materials.
I'm still no producer, but I have gotten tools to make raw ear piercing music that
is very catchy and hard to ignore.
The most basic audio wave forms and methods of modulating them to tickle the inner ear.
Most musicians look at music as a talent of muscle memory. Tools are secondary to the process.
I am more interested in the sound creation aspect. I decided to go back to the basics
of the first truly mass produced synthesizers in the Commodore 64 computers.
These chips are very interesting in many ways. Most notably the flaws and short comings of the intended design. To hear the intended outcome of these one can look to the Ensoniq ESQ1, created by the same designer immediately after Commodore rushed his half finished product. One could imagine what the computer music world would have ended up like had he been given the time to finish his design.
I have run through various implementations of the SID chip including building a Midibox from scratch and 2 6581R4 SID chips. The filters and effects are interesting, but the functionality of using it as it was in a Commodore 64 was lacking. There was no practical way to utilizes an assortment of instrument settings to play in sequence. It was only one instrument per oscillator or less leaving much to be desired. Next I acquired a Commodore 64C early 90's model containing the 8580R5 SID chip and an MSSIAH cartridge. Now this was interesting, but very troublesome at the same time. The composition abilities work quite well, but firstly the C64's inputs from joysticks or mice are computed by the SID chip itself so lag would occur while working. Not only that, but mouse movement is entirely analog and shoddy at best. Also, the ability to save and load is not built into the cart and requires an external drive. I bought an SD card drive before I fully researched and found that the only working means for data storage was to either get a floppy disk drive and working floppies or to buy another cartridge that would have to be switched out on the fly and cost 5 times what I paid for the Commodore itself. Making usage unaffordable and unreasonable altogether. Thus I turned my attention to my other favourite sound chip, OPL3.
When looking at parts to build my Midibox SID I noticed another project the team had developed, Midibox FM. I was intrigued as it took chips from mid 90's soundblaster cards and allowed you to program them and play them with a keyboard. Not only that, but it was multitimbral to have 4 instruments and a drum set at the same time. I reminisced of my days dos gaming and playing with trackers in the mid 90's. The kits to build the simplest ones had sold out and I was already in the midst of building the Midibox SID so I looked on the for sale part and found an already built one and bought it. I still have yet to make a filter circuit for it, but was very interested after hearing the demos. This was very fun to program and play with, but then I soon found it too had the same short coming as the MIDIbox SID. No instrumentation switching on the fly. It's the element that makes trackers superior to all other sequencers aside from being built specifically for the chips automation parameters. It also only had the one mode of 4 instruments 1 drumset as opposed to the chips ability to have 18 2-op channels or other configurations allowing more sounds and instruments to play at once. This was a big shortcoming as well since midi allows 16 channels and there was no way to use it with actual midi music. I eventually began to crave that environment that gave total control and was ready to get an old computer set up. This time there would be no data/cartridge limitations with expensive workarounds. I found an amazing motherboard that contained ISA slots, a 1.4 Ghz processor and 512 MB RAM. A late 90's gem bridging 8-bit to 32-bit. I then also found a Sound Blaster 16 CT1740 after failed attempts at getting a Sound Blaster Pro 2.0 like I had in the 90's. A short time later I had Windows 98SE and Adlib Tracker 2 running like a champ. Adlib Tracker 2 has some quirks I had to work out. They attempted midi implementation and failed, thus the only way to make music is the Tracker that cannot be synced with anything.

In conclusion, these instruments have been great learning tools. I love the sounds that can be generated and will continue to play with them. They are very far from perfect. The applications and methods for making music with computer sound chips is a hack job at best, but I find it much easier to be creative with these given the odd filter mixing of the SID and the harsh raspy noise of the OPL3. Not to mention the stereo mixing abilities of both in certain configurations. The midibox versions do require hardware soldering maintenance and have majorly slowed down on updates in the last 2 years. I do prefer using the actual computers for programming these and hope I can sync the computers together eventually.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Dream

I had a really odd dream this morning.
I figured it's best to record it for analysis purposes.
I was living in a house on a huge slope covered in trees.
My neighbor was a hippie playboy kind of guy with
hippie girls following him around everywhere.
They eventually wandered into my property, but I didn't
think anything of it and went my own way.
I had a child in the dream and the mother decided it would be
best to leave the kid with me.
I was searching through this house since I had just acquired it
and realized it was the same house I was in a few nights ago
chasing some killer hillbilly in the night.
Then I found in the back a door leading to what
appeared to be a small bathroom with a hot tub
in the middle of it. It looked like there were windows in
the back and there was something dark sitting in it.
I flipped on the lights and realized it was out doors and it was
a cloudy day out. The thing sitting in the hot tub was a baby
carrier with a pine tree in it.
The tub was surrounded by a wall of junipers on one side and
a rock garden leading out to some giant trees on the other.
I picked the baby carrier out of the water. I thought
it would be nice to have since I had just acquired my child from it's mother.
I walked out further and at the bottom of a slope was two swimming pools lined up next to a cast iron fence, covered with vines, guarding it all from the road and the outside world.
There were massive pines fallen and left in the pools and one was partially covered
by a yellow tarp. I then realized why I had gotten the place at such a discount for having all this
great stuff along with it. I wondered why it had been abandoned in such a way though.
As though something had been tossing the trees around like loose toys.
To be continued...

Monday, May 17, 2010

I quit

I made it through the last decade.
It was spent, as far as I can tell, reminiscing the last century
at about 100x the speed.
I quit a job once again.
I'm quitting smoking.
I am preparing for this new century.
I'm certain that this is the last century for the U.S.A.
It could even be the last decade.
This last year and a half has been filled with a stifling amount of
mental illness, alcoholism, and childishness.
I don't think it's a new thing, it's just my crowds time.
I only succumb in rare instances.
I end up having to be a massive anchor for
many people so they don't end up drifting too far out.
We are products of our environment after all.

I don't like to sit around and conspire, but I do get a kick out of following them.
As much as I disbelieve just about anything that gets tossed around as an idea
I do have to say that I do believe that no one is too far off from the truth.
There's a reason for that.
People are so wrapped up in each others asses that they're
suffocating the imagination it takes to release themselves from them.
Okay so everyone's a conformist. I said it. There. Hah!
Bitches.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

My trail journal

March 1, 1848
We started down the trail with:
6 oxen
5 sets of clothing
1000 bullets
1 wagon wheel
1 wagon axle
1 wagon tongue
500 pounds of food
We decided to rest for 4 days.

March 7, 1848
Heavy fog. Lost 1 day.

March 10, 1848
We have arrived at the Kansas River Crossing.

March 11, 1848
We had no trouble floating the wagon across.
Heavy fog. Lost 1 day.

March 15, 1848
We have arrived at the Big Blue River Crossing.

March 16, 1848
We had no trouble floating the wagon across.
Nightshade has a broken leg.

March 21, 1848
We have reached Fort Kearney.

March 22, 1848
We shot 84 pounds of meat.

March 24, 1848
We shot 180 pounds of meat.

March 29, 1848
Heavy fog. Lost 1 day.

April 1, 1848
We shot 186 pounds of meat.

April 4, 1848
Banana Jamma has the measles.

April 5, 1848
We have reached Chimney Rock.
We decided to rest for 3 days.

April 10, 1848
We didn't have any luck on this hunting trip! We returned to the wagon empty-handed.

April 12, 1848
We shot 120 pounds of meat.

April 14, 1848
A blizzard delayed us 1 day.

April 15, 1848
Banana Jamma is well again.

April 16, 1848
Nightshade is well again.
We have reached Fort Laramie.

April 17, 1848
Banana Jamma got lost. Thankfully, we found Banana Jamma alive after 3 days.

April 21, 1848
We lost 15 pounds of food due to spoilage.

April 22, 1848
We shot 2 pounds of meat.

May 2, 1848
We have reached Independence Rock.
We decided to rest for 3 days.

May 7, 1848
We shot 600 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat.

May 9, 1848
We found some wild fruit.

May 10, 1848
We shot 328 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat.

May 14, 1848
We have arrived at the South Pass.
We decided to rest for 2 days.

May 19, 1848
We shot 524 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat.

May 22, 1848
We shot 347 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat.

May 26, 1848
Heavy fog. Lost 1 day.

May 29, 1848
We have arrived at the Green River Crossing.

May 31, 1848
We had no trouble floating the wagon across.

June 1, 1848
We shot 180 pounds of meat.
We lost 65 pounds of food due to spoilage.

June 2, 1848
Heavy fog. Lost 1 day.
Lurker has a fever.

June 3, 1848
We decided to rest for 4 days.

June 9, 1848
We found some wild fruit.
No water.

June 10, 1848
No water.

June 11, 1848
Lurker is well again.
No grass for the oxen.

June 13, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
We lost 43 pounds of food due to spoilage.

June 14, 1848
Heavy fog. Lost 1 day.

June 16, 1848
Heavy fog. Lost 1 day.

June 18, 1848
We lost 32 pounds of food due to spoilage.

June 19, 1848
We shot 505 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat.
Squidgy has a fever.

June 21, 1848
We have reached Soda Springs.
We decided to rest for 4 days.

June 26, 1848
We decided to rest for 3 days.

June 28, 1848
Squidgy is well again.

June 30, 1848
We found some wild fruit.
Broken wagon wheel.
We couldn't fix the wagon wheel, but we replaced it from supplies.

July 2, 1848
No water.
No grass for the oxen.

July 3, 1848
We found some wild fruit.
No water.

July 4, 1848
We have reached Fort Hall.

July 5, 1848
We shot 196 pounds of meat.

July 7, 1848
No grass for the oxen.

July 8, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
We lost 43 pounds of food due to spoilage.

July 10, 1848
We shot 636 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat.

July 11, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
We will now travel at a more strenuous pace.

July 14, 1848
Squidgy has a broken arm.

July 15, 1848
We will now travel at a steady pace.

July 16, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
We have arrived at the Snake River Crossing.

July 17, 1848
We had no trouble floating the wagon across.

July 18, 1848
Bad water.

July 20, 1848
We found some wild fruit.

July 22, 1848
We shot 399 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat.
No grass for the oxen.

July 23, 1848
No grass for the oxen.

July 25, 1848
Broken wagon axle.
We fixed the broken wagon axle.

July 27, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
We lost 53 pounds of food due to spoilage.

July 28, 1848
We shot 340 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat.

July 29, 1848
Squidgy got sick and died.
We found some wild fruit.

July 31, 1848
We have reached Fort Boise.
We decided to rest for 4 days.

August 1, 1848
We lost 63 pounds of food due to spoilage.

August 5, 1848
We will now travel at a more grueling pace.

August 6, 1848
Bad water.
We took the wrong trail and lost 1 day.

August 8, 1848
Bad water.
No grass for the oxen.
Rough trail.

August 9, 1848
Bad water.

August 10, 1848
We shot 680 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat.
No grass for the oxen.

August 11, 1848
No grass for the oxen.

August 12, 1848
No water.

August 13, 1848
We have arrived at the Grande Ronde in the Blue Mountains.
We decided to rest for 2 days.

August 15, 1848
Nightshade is sick with typhoid fever.

August 16, 1848
We found some wild fruit.
We decided to rest for 4 days.

August 17, 1848
We found some wild fruit.

August 19, 1848
We found some wild fruit.

August 20, 1848
We will now travel at a steady pace.

August 21, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
We decided to rest for 3 days.

August 22, 1848
We lost 57 pounds of food due to spoilage.

August 25, 1848
Nightshade is well again.
We found some wild fruit.
Banana Jamma has cholera.

August 26, 1848
We found some wild fruit.
Bad water.
Broken wagon axle.
We fixed the broken wagon axle.
We lost 51 pounds of food due to spoilage.

August 27, 1848
We decided to rest for 3 days.

August 28, 1848
We lost 43 pounds of food due to spoilage.

August 31, 1848
We shot 218 pounds of meat but were able to carry back only 200 pounds of meat.
We lost 56 pounds of food due to spoilage.

September 2, 1848
Bad water.

September 3, 1848
No water.
We will now travel at a more grueling pace.

September 4, 1848
Broken wagon wheel.
We couldn't fix the broken wagon wheel. We will have to trade for one.
We will now travel at a steady pace.
We decided to rest for 2 days.
We traded 1 ox for 2 wagon wheels.
Lurker is suffering from exhaustion.

September 5, 1848
Banana Jamma is well again.
Banana Jamma has dysentery.

September 9, 1848
Bad water.
We lost 39 pounds of food due to spoilage.

September 10, 1848
Lurker got sick and died.

September 12, 1848
No water.

September 13, 1848
Banana Jamma got sick and died.

September 15, 1848
We have reached The Dalles.